Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
