Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize