Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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