HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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