I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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