my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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