He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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