Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
