it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
