just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
