so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
