it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Someone signed my nipple.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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