her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
worst night to have a conscience
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
