We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
