You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
