Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize