Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
