my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
