we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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