My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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