I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
