do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize