hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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