It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
