They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize