Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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