i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
