If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
