she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We are all done wearing pants today
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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