Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
