he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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