Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
