No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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