Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
