So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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