The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
