I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize