please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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