Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
