sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
