I look better un-naked...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
