So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
