Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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