If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
