I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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