I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Randomize
