I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
