So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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