I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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