I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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