if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
