so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
