The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
