Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
