oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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