she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
