I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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