I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
