just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
