xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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