If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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