Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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