i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm bleeding and have questions
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
