VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
