Me. At least after what I've been through.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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