No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
