probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
