If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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