i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize