I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
